Here are some general tips to Team India to help themselves until they find a specialist sledging coach ( these lads need to be taught everything really ).Team India , the below is for your action and its a stop gap arrangement.
(1)Check the net. Out there,some all time great sledges in international cricket are documented. Take some tips and stop acting like old women.Here is a link for starters.
http://forums.techarena.in/showthread.php?t=416788
(2) Please don't sledge in Hindi/Bhojpuri/Maithli and other Indian langs. Its really not gonna help in Australia . Always remember why you do things.
(3)Have some common sense. Don't show your finger in the direction of the pavilion. Its a straight breach of code and even pets know it. Stop inviting trouble. Give trouble. Thats the theme in case you guys still didn't get it.
(4) Stop calling up your mom in India in case you didn't understand what Symonds said on field. Its an ADVANTAGE if you don't understand what they say. Trust me ,even native Britishers don't understand Aussie accent and laf at it .Don't dig into your OWN complexes and inadequacies if you don't get something .For your information, even educated people out here in India who regularly interact with Australian Clients cant figure out their accent sometimes . You DO NOT have to understand everything they say on field and react ! Its NOT your primary objective!You are sportsmen, not linguists. Concentrate on Cricket !!
(5) Aussies speak the truth while sledging. ( Remember they have mastered the art and they know how to hit where it hurts) . Copy the trick . Paste wherever applicable.
(6)No more Maa ki's and Monkeys please ! Grow up ! Be sophisticated at sledging . You can do better than these kindergarden gaalis.Do some research.Aussies hate being called convicts. Coz they were a nation of convicts deported from Britain if you know your Ps and Qs. Be well informed while sledging. Remember point 5.
(7)Have a PLAN! Praveen Kumar would be placed with immediate effect in the slip, gully or silly point position.His orders would be simple. He will be chanting 'convict' 'convict' or 'butcher turned cricketer' 'butcher turned cricketer' whenever the batsman is facing the bowler . If they react and give him Aussie slang, he would anyway not understand a word of whats being told to him. Moreover, if the umpires or match referee is notified, well Dhoni would shoot back " How can Praveen Kumar who doesn't know English sledge Aussies, more over where's the proof ? " Case closed !! And thats the RULE.
(8)During over change ( that is the ad break ), one fielder would be engaging the leg umpire by showing him the beautiful pigeons on the ground and the bowling change would be engaging the other empire by giving him his cap, shades, hankie, wallet etc. While both the umpires are thus engaged, each player will personally interact with Aussie Batsmen to give an earful of filthy shit. Case closed. they cant complain. They don't have proof .If Australian's try the same tactic , they need to do all this and also learn Hindi. thats unlikely. But hell would surely break loose on them.Trust me none of this is an offense as per ICC code book.
(7) Play your strengths. You guys earn a million Aussie dollars or more every season because India is a cricket rich country. So call up THAT average Aussie on field if there is useless banter and tell him you'll buy the stadium and convert it into a museum if he doesn't shut up. Money talks.He would be momentarily stunned, spit your chewing gum and keep jogging. Tell him you are planning to order Kangaroo curry for your pet's dinner and ask him to SHUT THE FUCK UP !!
Post match scenario :
In case Aussies whine over a loss ,here's wot Indian think tank has to say:
We live in a wonderful world and India and Australia are a part of it, and outside the field we got more enchanting things to do than fight or prolong on-field battles, which were fought in the first place to enjoy success , life and all the beautiful things that accompany it. We played cricket in the FULL SPIRIT OF THE GAME .
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Traffic Jams are god's gift to mankind. . Traffic jams achieve with spectacular ease, what great gurus like Sri Sri Ravi Sankar couldn’t have accomplished in their collective meditation camps. Look around you when you are stuck in a jam. You usually see A thousand people from every walk of life with a single point agenda on their mind, and that is to move forward. You see an army of people seemingly unshaken by anything, be it stationary or moving, patiently working out the clutch and brake combination to go ever forward and grab every bit of available road space although its only potholes they find at the most excruciating turns and bottle necks. The majority carry on with a never die spirit filled with patience, grit, faith and tenacity of purpose as if they are sure of the target no matter how frustrating the path is, ever reminding themselves of the beautiful road ahead once this bad stretch is cleared, they go on practicing the kind of nishkama karma (dispassionate work) that would have made Sri Krishna cry happy tears.
Who needs Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's peaceful ashram when we can learn on the Indian roads the high art of living and surviving.
However, some common art lessons learnt thru practice in the jam program are quickly jotted down. The list is by no means exhaustive.
Corporate lesson one. Don’t be good in a true way, ever, to anyone. Show aggression and never lose an opportunity to put yourself in a comfortable situation. If you give space to others to show generosity, they will soon be pushing you into a corner.
Corporate lesson two. It’s all about timing, quick decisions and ability to take risks without skrewing it up. A momentary show of your vehicle's power at the right time can zoom you past a critical junction and save you tail gating for hours.
Corporate lesson three: The leader need not be always right. So don’t follow him blindly. Tail gating an SUV or a Truck can sometimes leave you in the lurch. The SUV crosses a pothole as if it’s a minor hiccup and if you are following it, you might be buried. Hyderabad crane service is not operational all the time.
Social Lesson one: Keep good company. Travel behind vehicles which match your vehicle type. Else get ready for some rude shocks.
Social lesson number two: Seemingly harmless & over cautious friends can be more dangerous than arrogant enemies. Watch out for those L board drivers. They usually brake for reasons unknown to even themselves.
Critical expectation number one: Pedestrians expect you to be vigilant of what they do. Their life is in your hands. Slow down and guess their next move and act accordingly and be prepared to tackle the situation even if they dance before you.
Critical expectation number two: Whatever happens on road, never lose your patience. Your dad or friend or spouse sitting beside you expects you to be a great human being in any situation. So behave yourself.
General and miscellaneous considerations: Never cut corners or try for short cuts when stuck in a jam on a major road,else, you will soon be very sorry. Stick to the royal path, be it traffic or life. It’s slow but sure.
The traffic in the other lane or the opposite lane is always faster. There is nothing you can do researching it, it’s an axiom.
The moment you change lanes after a lot of deliberation and thought, the above axiom proves itself again.
If you are driving an expensive sports car and someone is hit, irrespective of whose fault it is, you'd be blamed. Even the courts might rule against you! Ferrari's aint made for Indian roads and Show off has its disadvantages.
The list is endless and the teachings are timeless , but may be i'll continue an other time .. after all who can unravel a modern marvel in a single blog .. adios ..its evening already and i got to hit road ..
Who needs Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's peaceful ashram when we can learn on the Indian roads the high art of living and surviving.
However, some common art lessons learnt thru practice in the jam program are quickly jotted down. The list is by no means exhaustive.
Corporate lesson one. Don’t be good in a true way, ever, to anyone. Show aggression and never lose an opportunity to put yourself in a comfortable situation. If you give space to others to show generosity, they will soon be pushing you into a corner.
Corporate lesson two. It’s all about timing, quick decisions and ability to take risks without skrewing it up. A momentary show of your vehicle's power at the right time can zoom you past a critical junction and save you tail gating for hours.
Corporate lesson three: The leader need not be always right. So don’t follow him blindly. Tail gating an SUV or a Truck can sometimes leave you in the lurch. The SUV crosses a pothole as if it’s a minor hiccup and if you are following it, you might be buried. Hyderabad crane service is not operational all the time.
Social Lesson one: Keep good company. Travel behind vehicles which match your vehicle type. Else get ready for some rude shocks.
Social lesson number two: Seemingly harmless & over cautious friends can be more dangerous than arrogant enemies. Watch out for those L board drivers. They usually brake for reasons unknown to even themselves.
Critical expectation number one: Pedestrians expect you to be vigilant of what they do. Their life is in your hands. Slow down and guess their next move and act accordingly and be prepared to tackle the situation even if they dance before you.
Critical expectation number two: Whatever happens on road, never lose your patience. Your dad or friend or spouse sitting beside you expects you to be a great human being in any situation. So behave yourself.
General and miscellaneous considerations: Never cut corners or try for short cuts when stuck in a jam on a major road,else, you will soon be very sorry. Stick to the royal path, be it traffic or life. It’s slow but sure.
The traffic in the other lane or the opposite lane is always faster. There is nothing you can do researching it, it’s an axiom.
The moment you change lanes after a lot of deliberation and thought, the above axiom proves itself again.
If you are driving an expensive sports car and someone is hit, irrespective of whose fault it is, you'd be blamed. Even the courts might rule against you! Ferrari's aint made for Indian roads and Show off has its disadvantages.
The list is endless and the teachings are timeless , but may be i'll continue an other time .. after all who can unravel a modern marvel in a single blog .. adios ..its evening already and i got to hit road ..
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Trivia-Did you know
'Did you know' mania is back again :D. For example, did you know how the word "posh" came into vogue :). It was first used by British ticket collectors. During the 19 th century, passenger ships didn’t have the luxury of A/C accommodation, so while traveling from Great Britain to India and other eastern countries people who could afford more used to be given cool cabins on the left side of the ship (its called portside), since the sun rises and sets in the southern hemisphere during summers (esp at the mediterranean latitudes ). While coming back from India to UK, they were given cabins on the right side of the ship (called Starboard end in naval lingo) for the same reason, to beat the sun and travel in cool shade. So the Ticket collectors, used to mark the initials POSH (Portside Outbound, Starboard Homebound) on such tickets . That's how it all started .Since then the word "posh" became increasingly synonymous with luxurious accommodation , Privileged class etc etc :) ... :D .
Monday, February 11, 2008
A parable and a truth
Its a known fact that poachers catch wild elephants while young, and then tie them up with iron chains to tame them . The baby elephant tries its best to free itself of the uncomfortable chains to get back its freedom ( they are meant to live in forests ) . However it finds the chains too strong for it . So it stops trying after a few days or weeks of continuous effort and submits to man .
The interesting part is, in a few years it gains in strength to become the largest mammal on land and also arguably the strongest known animal in terms of raw physical strength . It never tries to break the chains though . Coz its programmed its mind that it tried once and tried hard with no results..what it doesn't know probably is the fact that its is no more a baby elephant . What it doesn't factor-in, is that now ,the iron chains are replaced by lose ropes ( the mahout knows chains are not required for ever ) . The situation is further worsened coz the elephant is now in the comfort zone . It after all gets food everyday and it sees other elephants submitting to ropes and man . So its memory and taste of the the wild forest is gone . Its no more a master of the deep greens it was meant to be . Its tamed for a cause it doesn't fully understand. It lives the dream of its new master , and forgets its own.
Humanity started with lots of odds against it . We needed fear , we needed limits , we needed to be apprehensive else we would have perished in the ice age, we were a frail, out numbered race & fear allowed us to lie low during the initial start-up period ,to survive those great predators higher up in the food chain . We needed religion in the middle ages since our reason needed a guidance and our instruments were meager . We have always carried with us the excess baggage of fear , religion , blind belief in tradition and an acceptance of age old precepts as true without even questioning its relevance in the current new scenario. Few among us remember in our drifting consciousness that we are probably the first generation with a real chance to see what none has seen before , to physically go where no one has gone before . Lets face facts . We have grown in strength, reached planetary conciousness and have arrived at an acme point in history & whats happening now to this race have never happened before ( at least not in recorded history ) . Yet we are no different from the baby elephant which thinks its bound by iron chains . We also commit the mistake of giving up coz we tried before but with no result . Many movements of social change , wealth generation , upliftings of society have come and gone throughout human history . But none had succeeded comprehensively. We have a chance to succeed where all others in the past have failed.
Humanity deserves to be free of all the accumulated burden of the past which was required then and not now. We do not need fear . We now know that we can handle accidents and catastrophes better by remaining calm . We would have become extinct if we didn't have fear during the ape ages. We'd lose our relevance and might seriously become impaired and weak if we continue with the past baggage of paranoid fear and mistrust in our daily lives.
Its relatively easy to see , but difficult to deprogram our genetic code which has persisted these thousands of years . Thats a long shot . Just a mere fresh perspective of things is tough for us to realise . We pity the baby elephant . Who pities us ?
The interesting part is, in a few years it gains in strength to become the largest mammal on land and also arguably the strongest known animal in terms of raw physical strength . It never tries to break the chains though . Coz its programmed its mind that it tried once and tried hard with no results..what it doesn't know probably is the fact that its is no more a baby elephant . What it doesn't factor-in, is that now ,the iron chains are replaced by lose ropes ( the mahout knows chains are not required for ever ) . The situation is further worsened coz the elephant is now in the comfort zone . It after all gets food everyday and it sees other elephants submitting to ropes and man . So its memory and taste of the the wild forest is gone . Its no more a master of the deep greens it was meant to be . Its tamed for a cause it doesn't fully understand. It lives the dream of its new master , and forgets its own.
Humanity started with lots of odds against it . We needed fear , we needed limits , we needed to be apprehensive else we would have perished in the ice age, we were a frail, out numbered race & fear allowed us to lie low during the initial start-up period ,to survive those great predators higher up in the food chain . We needed religion in the middle ages since our reason needed a guidance and our instruments were meager . We have always carried with us the excess baggage of fear , religion , blind belief in tradition and an acceptance of age old precepts as true without even questioning its relevance in the current new scenario. Few among us remember in our drifting consciousness that we are probably the first generation with a real chance to see what none has seen before , to physically go where no one has gone before . Lets face facts . We have grown in strength, reached planetary conciousness and have arrived at an acme point in history & whats happening now to this race have never happened before ( at least not in recorded history ) . Yet we are no different from the baby elephant which thinks its bound by iron chains . We also commit the mistake of giving up coz we tried before but with no result . Many movements of social change , wealth generation , upliftings of society have come and gone throughout human history . But none had succeeded comprehensively. We have a chance to succeed where all others in the past have failed.
Humanity deserves to be free of all the accumulated burden of the past which was required then and not now. We do not need fear . We now know that we can handle accidents and catastrophes better by remaining calm . We would have become extinct if we didn't have fear during the ape ages. We'd lose our relevance and might seriously become impaired and weak if we continue with the past baggage of paranoid fear and mistrust in our daily lives.
Its relatively easy to see , but difficult to deprogram our genetic code which has persisted these thousands of years . Thats a long shot . Just a mere fresh perspective of things is tough for us to realise . We pity the baby elephant . Who pities us ?
Sunday, February 3, 2008
India's highest awards of Honor .
Sir Edmund Hillary was honored with Padma Vibhushan posthumous .
He died a natural death when he was 88 . His major accomplishment was mounting the everest along with Tenzing Norgay way back in 1953 if i am not wrong . The govt of India had to wait all these years, for him to die to bestow him with this honor. For what purpose and to what avail ? what are we trying to prove here by awarding it posthumous , alright i can understand if its a person whose entire life stands monumental with continuous accomplishments until he dies ( like a Gandhi ..although he is a mistake ) ..or if he or she dies suddenly in the midst of world shattering iconic work ( like a Diana ) . he falls in none of the categories . Why didn't the govt see his single important achievement before ? they realized he conquered the everest only after his death ? . I asked my dad casually why Tenzing Norgay was not given the award ( both have equal claim ) and the response was ..probably he died long ago or didn't die yet !!! So death is the new benchmark for awards ? Dont we have the balls to believe in this person's merit or demerit while he was alive ? do we need to wait for death to look back on a person's life ? Are we stuck in melodrama ?
I have nothing agaist Sir Edmund Hillary, in fact i have a high regard for him ( few know that he appeared on a NZ 5 dollor note even when he was alive ! ) , he was honored with knighthood by the British way back in the 50's just after his ascent to the peak . We are giving our own civilian award to him in 2008. check out , the world doesn't bother whom india honors with what . And i believe its valid and well deserved with policies and methods like this which truly reflect the pathetic national pastime of doing everything for the heck of it..
He died a natural death when he was 88 . His major accomplishment was mounting the everest along with Tenzing Norgay way back in 1953 if i am not wrong . The govt of India had to wait all these years, for him to die to bestow him with this honor. For what purpose and to what avail ? what are we trying to prove here by awarding it posthumous , alright i can understand if its a person whose entire life stands monumental with continuous accomplishments until he dies ( like a Gandhi ..although he is a mistake ) ..or if he or she dies suddenly in the midst of world shattering iconic work ( like a Diana ) . he falls in none of the categories . Why didn't the govt see his single important achievement before ? they realized he conquered the everest only after his death ? . I asked my dad casually why Tenzing Norgay was not given the award ( both have equal claim ) and the response was ..probably he died long ago or didn't die yet !!! So death is the new benchmark for awards ? Dont we have the balls to believe in this person's merit or demerit while he was alive ? do we need to wait for death to look back on a person's life ? Are we stuck in melodrama ?
I have nothing agaist Sir Edmund Hillary, in fact i have a high regard for him ( few know that he appeared on a NZ 5 dollor note even when he was alive ! ) , he was honored with knighthood by the British way back in the 50's just after his ascent to the peak . We are giving our own civilian award to him in 2008. check out , the world doesn't bother whom india honors with what . And i believe its valid and well deserved with policies and methods like this which truly reflect the pathetic national pastime of doing everything for the heck of it..
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Unknown country is the website of Whitley Strieber and is TM protected. I was just going thru the site and also thought of blogging ..no intention of using the TM et all . Having said that , haven't yet thought of a topic to blog . One thing is true . I feel shallow.
One broad sweep of strained thought takes me to half baked experiences and fleeting moments and memories,acquired or gained mostly due to endeavors whose basic raison principale was to quell so called boredom and reach that perfect happiness which so comprehensively eludes losers who cant or don't know the secret of supreme silence.
None of those shallow moments deserves a special mention here, but the 'something' in the mind which stands witness to all these experiences definitely deserves one.For that something which survives all the hammers and the chaotic muddle of insensitive activity also works tirelessly in rain or shine and never sleeps ..in fact when the person is too recalcitrant it seems to work during sleep ..using it as a peaceful medium to express or explain its strain and also to divulge its ancient wisdom .
We usually fail to acknowledge or use the time we spend during sleep. A little will to be concious while plunging into deep sleep unlocks mysteries which eludes days of toil sometimes. Just like a flash of lightning sometimes lightens up an unknown countryside ..so do the revelations of dreams and sleep activity deeply convey to us things , events and aspects we never thought we could have figured otherwise .
I am not sure if i should describe more but would definitely keep blogging ...have a great night .. they are as important as your days .... :)
One broad sweep of strained thought takes me to half baked experiences and fleeting moments and memories,acquired or gained mostly due to endeavors whose basic raison principale was to quell so called boredom and reach that perfect happiness which so comprehensively eludes losers who cant or don't know the secret of supreme silence.
None of those shallow moments deserves a special mention here, but the 'something' in the mind which stands witness to all these experiences definitely deserves one.For that something which survives all the hammers and the chaotic muddle of insensitive activity also works tirelessly in rain or shine and never sleeps ..in fact when the person is too recalcitrant it seems to work during sleep ..using it as a peaceful medium to express or explain its strain and also to divulge its ancient wisdom .
We usually fail to acknowledge or use the time we spend during sleep. A little will to be concious while plunging into deep sleep unlocks mysteries which eludes days of toil sometimes. Just like a flash of lightning sometimes lightens up an unknown countryside ..so do the revelations of dreams and sleep activity deeply convey to us things , events and aspects we never thought we could have figured otherwise .
I am not sure if i should describe more but would definitely keep blogging ...have a great night .. they are as important as your days .... :)
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